Hello World 🙂
I thought I would start with the inspirational quote this time 🙂
This post is as much for me right at this moment as anything else. I did 2 things this week that I intuitively knew might affect me negatively…but curiosity got the better of me.
1) I sought out someone via FB that really, it would have been better not to have done. All that exercise did was inform me via images of things I had no idea or understanding about, but gave me time to try and find clues and answers that I really didn’t need. It opened me up to a lot of negative energy that I could feel as I was engaging in this activity…so I stopped exactly what I was doing and left it alone. Was it judgement? Maybe, it wasn’t a standard comparison because I know given all the criteria I would not wish to trade places or be involved in that life at all, yet curiously it still holds a voyeuristic appeal. Maybe it is a form of comparison- to assure me I am not missing out, or that my Ego can be kept happy knowing I am doing ok…
2) A photographer I am aware of and greatly admire professionally has launched their website. I clicked through to view the website and as I expected it was brilliant. Now this is where things changed a little bit. Whereas in the first example I was distant despondent because I felt on the periphery of a life being lived that I am far away from, this time I felt much closer to the despondency. It was a lot more of a standard comparison and ultimately I came away feeling a lot worse about myself.
I thought about it for a moment and I realised that without a counterbalance, this would continue to affect my self esteem because envy will creep in. Actually I have no right to feel envious of someone who has worked their socks off to create their dream…because I have exactly the same amount of hours in a day that they do. Debbie Wright wrote about this last month for Stewardship.
She writes: “…dissatisfaction nearly always comes along with its cousin – comparison. So, how do we rid ourselves of dissatisfaction and comparison? We know that Jesus says come to me and I will give you rest, but how does that actually work out? Paul gives us a big clue in his letter to the Philippians:
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:11-12, NIV
In all his different circumstances, Paul has learnt to be content. The key word here is ‘learned’. Contentment doesn’t come easily to us or easily to Paul; he learnt it and so can we. To learn to be content, we have to start with our own lives, here and now in this moment, in this day, in these circumstances, and we do this by expressing thanks. When we express heartfelt thanks, we begin to notice a feeling of gratitude.
The counterbalance to dissatisfaction, and its close relative comparison, is gratitude, and along with gratitude comes contentment.”
How wise! This is how I chose to deal with my professional comparison, I immediately reached out to the person in question to congratulate them on such a beautiful website. And it did indeed evoke positivity all round. Now instead of dwelling what I feel I do not have I am thinking about what I do have and how I STILL wouldn’t want to trade places with either of the people I was comparing against. I am me and I am where I am because I am a product of complex genetic wiring and programming plus a vast array of life experiences. My life is unique to me and if there are areas I would like to be better at or I would like to drop, it is up to me to change them.
3 lots of gratitude:
- Such a brilliant end to a marathon 10 months redundancy period, we went to the legendary Mancunian Ikea did 3 laps before we found the door, went in the exit, drank raspberry lemonade and ate strange green marzipan in customer services and then realised we were at the total wrong floor of the store. 3 hours later and we finally finished our shop, treated for tea at Chiquitos by the one and only wing man and then Googlebox and a cuppa.
- I bought a new coffee mug made of tempered glass from Ikea- it is going to make my mornings enjoyable.
- For having a massive bedroom that truly feels like a space I can lie back, dream, sleep, imagine and create without needing to move.
And on that note, I think I will go to find that place halfway between life and dreaming.